The Truth Hits Close To Home
by DarkDefender89
Summary: Who is Eli behind his emo boy mask? And what is his absolutely secret secret?  Side plot of Fiona and Declan awesome twincest! Read and you shall see!
1. Freaks

**Summary:** Explores the friendship of Eli, Adam, and Claire…and possibly more? Who is Eli beneath his emo boy mask? And what is going on with Fiona and Declan? Read and you shall see. :O I'm bad at dialogue, so bear with me until I get farther into the story and it runs more smoothly. your typical Eli

**The Truth Hits Close To Home**

Eli, Adam, and Claire sat at the bench besides a tree, eating lunch outside to avoid the rest of the crowd. Crowds, they weren't exactly Eli's thing. He marched to a different beat, you could say. They were the school freaks, but there's one thing people don't tell you these days: it's a good thing to be a freak.

Eli keeps thinking about Julia, but there's a lot of things about Julia that Eli never told Adam or Claire. He just didn't see the point…the past is the past, right? The past stays in the past. Even if it's still a part of you? Well…yes.

Julia was a lesbian. Eli was Julia's boyfriend. How the hell does that work? Well, it's actually a lot more complicated than that. Anyways, Julia's dead now so it really doesn't matter. Eli dates strictly straight chicks these days, with the exception of the occasional gay dude.

"Dude, why are you so quiet?" Adam asked.

"Yeah, you're really quiet today, it's unlike you," Claire added.

Eli shrugged his shoulders. He didn't want to admit that he was thinking about Julia, not about the day she died, but the days they were together. Eli certainly doesn't miss those days. Eli misses Julia, but he's pretty sure she wouldn't love him today. Or maybe she would. He'll never know.

"Nah, man, I'm just thinking," Eli said.

"Are you thinking about Julia? Because you know it's not your fault she died," Claire said sympathetically. It was almost like Claire could read Eli's mind. Good thing she couldn't really.

Eli shrugged. "I guess," he said. But if Julia never met Eli, maybe Julia would have never gotten into that car.

They finished the rest of their lunches in silence, enjoying the wind. The silence, the absence of noise, penetrated their skulls. It was sort of beautiful in a strange sort of way.

As they were gathering their stuff to go back into the school, a teenager with long auburn red hair was walking past them. They didn't recognize her, she must be new. At the last second, the red head turned around and looked at Eli as if she recognized him. She had a strange look in her brown eyes.

"Jessica?" she said, blinking. "No, wait. Did Jessica have a brother? Are you Jessica's brother?"

A stange look flashed across Eli's face, but it was gone as soon as anyone had a chance to notice. "Sorry, I have no idea who you are or who you're talking about," Eli lied.

After the redhead left, Claire asked, "Who's Jessica?"

"What makes you think I know any Jessica?" Eli asked stubbornly.


	2. After All

**Disclaimer/Author's Note:** I don't own the Degrassi characters and I don't own Degrassi. There is an OC in this story, Alice, and I created her. Her character I don't know much about, I only know Adam's side of the story not Alice's so if I got it wrong feel free to correct me! I can't say I completely understand Alice's story. Adam's, sure, 'cause it's mine too. But Alice's story isn't mine. If I got it wrong, I apologize! Ha this is a mysterious disclaimer but by now I'm sure you've figured that Alice is the opposite of Adam! =) Also, I switch from POVs often but that's just 'cause I'm a writer experimenting with new creative ways to write. (ooh…and sorry there's not more of Adam, I'll do the next chapter in his POV. And Fiona and Declan coming soon!) :D

**Chapter 2**

"_Jessica, over here!" the voice said. A five year old wearing a black skirt and a too large black hoodie frowned and stared at the floor. "Jessy! Smile for the camera!" Jessica just frowned. It looked better that way. _

_She bounced up and down, staring at the sky. Stared at the woman with the big black camera. _

"_Jessica!"_

_Thunder roared heavily in the sky, crackling with the crash of rain silently to the mostly empty streets, the pale yellow lightning, falling silently, the assassin king. _

"_Jessica!" (He was the assassin king, the assassin king sitting through the storm. Sit it out, and the rain will stop falling down eventually.)_

_Jessica ran away. Not away away, just for a while away. Ran and ran, barefoot. She smiled manically and kneeled down to make shapes with brown mud. She splashed it on her face and giggled: a brown mask of doom to hide tears poorly hidden. _

"_Jessica!" _

_Her mother's voice faded away into the distance. (And he didn't hear her anymore when his mother called her name. The assassin king takes no prisoners.)_

"Are you sure?" Claire asked. "She seemed to know what she was talking about."

Adam stood beside Claire, staring up at the sky. Eli shifted from foot to foot. "She's just crazy, Claire. I don't know. It doesn't mean anything, okay? Let up on it." He didn't mean to sound so mean and angry. But that was just the way he dealt with shit. Push everything down and fight back with biting, caustic comments. Eli, Goth boy here to save the world. Armored in a healthy dose of cynicism and anti-patriotism. Eli looked at Adam: he was silent, not taking part in the conversation. Eli wondered if Adam recognized it in Eli's face. Either way, he decided not to comment. No one needed to know.

"Alright. I'm here, if you need to talk, though," Claire said.

Eli nodded.

"Let's go to class, okay?" Adam said, breaking the awkward silence. "We're all going to be late."

They went their separate ways, Adam to his class, Claire to her class, and Eli to his class. They were all in different classes, except for English. Eli remembers when he and Claire did the Romeo and Juliet project and Claire wanted to be in a relationship with Eli. Eli still thinks about that. He told Claire it was Julia that was holding him back and that was true. It was. And even though Eli and Claire are sort of together, it's still kind of bumpy and they aren't really sexually active (thank goodness Claire's the "wait till marriage type", even though Eli's the "anti-marriage type", but he figures they'll work something out later).

He figures he's thrown any possible friendship with Claire or Adam away. After all, this far into their friendship, and still secrecy? Claire may be a saint and all but if Eli's a saint of anything he's the saint of secrecy. Julia, pack rat, yadda yadda yadda, with two big secrets down and one left to go, how can they hate him for keeping it secret? (although it must be cruel, two is better than one, right? Solidarity, show support for your brothers, man! Right? But Eli can't help wanting to be stealthy. Sure, he's a well-known non-conformist. But he doesn't want his non-conformity to be wiped away by something bigger that basically erases him, he's different so it's okay, you can break the rules, we'll let you if you prove yourself and let us pathologize you, but we'll still tell everybody else to shut up and be good little boys and girls. You want to be different? Then you won't get any toys for Christmas (but that's okay, we don't need your gendered toys).).

"Hey you," a voice said.

Eli stood at the corner of the staircase, a shadow falling over the left side of his body. He turns around and sees the red headed girl.

"Do I know you?" Eli said sarcastically.

"I don't know. Do you?" the girl said. A strand of her red hair falls in front of her left eye. She's vaguely familiar.

"Not that I'm aware of." It wasn't really a lie. Eli didn't know her, at least. But he was always Eli. Even then.

"Oh come on," the red head said. She paused, staring at her black flats. She turned to face Eli. Studied him closely. "You never answered my question. Can I get a name at least?"

"Mine?" Eli asks.

"Of course, who else's?" the red head says.

"Oh I don't know, maybe you wanted Jessica's," Eli said mockingly, even though it was risky to bring Jessica up.

"Har har," the red head says. "So you do know Jesssica?"

"You called me Jessica, remember? Never said I knew her, but obviously you wanted to talk about her," Eli said. He paused. "You never told me your name."

"Eli," Eli said.

"Eli?" the read head asked.

Eli nodded. "Eli."

"So are you Jessica's brother, Eli?" the red head asked.

"Wait a minute! You know my name, now you need to tell me yours," Eli protested.

"Not until you tell me if you knew Jessica," the red head said.

Eli was quiet for a second. He raised his left eyebrow and his face twinkled with mischief. Honesty can be deceptive.

"Yes, I knew Jessica," Eli said.

The red head pouted. "How did you know her? Was she your sister?"

"Tell me your name first," Eli said.

"Fine," the red head grumpled. "Alice."

"Alice. Pretty name. It suits you," Eli said.

"Now tell me how you knew Jessica," Alice said.

Eli put his hands on his hips. "Hmmm…I don't think so," he said.

"But you said…" Alice said.

Eli just smiled.

"Tell you what. Meet me later at the Dot and we can talk more if you want," Eli said.

"No thanks, _Eli_," Alice said.

Alice still couldn't put her finger on it. She grew up around Jessica. After middle school, Jessica disappeared. Julia and Jessica, always holding hands and kissing. The tough dykes, waging a war against a patriotic, cissexist society. Alice just wanted in. After all, she wasn't even Alice then. She didn't remember Jessica having a brother. Then again, she wouldn't know either because Jessica barely talked to her. Jessica was a little outsider, avoiding the boys and girls. Then in middle school, Jessica was always clinging to Julia, and they never talked to anyone else. They certainly wouldn't talk to a _boy_, no, they couldn't let a boy into their lesbian feminist club. We're all queer, you know. Queer to the bone, anarchists, so why don't we let everyone in?

Eli abandoned that club. Julia didn't want to, and they fought about it. And then Julia died. And it was Eli's fault. For existing. Julia died. Okay, maybe it wasn't the argument that killed her, but they were long due for a break up anyways. Eli misses her sometimes. She's dead either way, but, you know…there's this tiny part of him that's glad she isn't with anyone else.

Don't get him wrong, he's still an anarchist. It's just, Julia never really was. Or maybe Julia was just too in love with Jessica, the ghost girl who never really existed. Maybe. Maybe.

Meanwhile, Fiona and Declan are standing outside Degrassi Community School, behind the dumpster, staring into each other's eyes. For a while Fiona had an eye for Adam, but it got annoying that he kept calling her princess. You know, she's that crazy chick; she doesn't want to be called princess. She's insecure too, sometimes, because her ex abused her and she drank and the kids at school made fun of her for all that. It's like she's supposed to be royalty, and that makes her popular, so she must agree with the popular kids. Right? You know there's the idea that princesses are too weak to take care of themselves, which Fiona doesn't particularly like either, but that's not what grates her the most.

She respects untouchables way more than she respects royalty.

Part of her wants Adam. The rest of her wants Declan. After all, what better ingredient to love is there but for it to be forbidden? Fiona was in love with it. More with the idea of it than Declan himself, but oh well. Declan didn't need to know that.

She leaned in and kissed Declan on the lips.

"Fi! I thought we were done with this," Declan grumbled, pulling partially away.

"Shut up and kiss me, brother of mine," Fiona teased. She smiled, the left corner of her mouth turning up into a Joker's grin. 'You are the love of my life,' she thought to no one. She hasn't met the love of her life yet, but personally she finds love a tad bit overrated.

"But it's wrong!" Declan said.

"Declan, silly," Fiona said, placing a finger on his lips. "It's only wrong 'cause they tell us it's wrong. We ain't doing anybody any harm."

Fiona leaned in and made out with her brother, passionately. This time he didn't pull away.

After all. They're not hurting anybody.

**To be continued….**

ahahahaha…well, please review! They'll be more of Alice in the next chapter and, like I promised, the next chapter will be in Adam's POV! The more reviews the sooner it will get here! This chapter gives away too much…but I don't got nothing else now so this is it I guess, so much for keeping up the mystery.

~Kaden


	3. On Drugs?

**The Truth Hits Close To Home, Chapter 3**

Adam's alarm clock rung and he rolled over onto his stomach. He didn't really want to get up and get ready for school. He didn't want to look at his body and he didn't want to do the things that he needed to do to be at least somewhat comfortable, it'd be much easier to just stay hidden under his covers all day. Not like he could actually do that. He pressed the snooze button so he could sleep for a little bit longer.

Then he heard someone knocking on his door.

"Gr..er, Adam, get up! It's already 7:30!"

When would his mother grasp that he is _Adam_ now and that will never change? Adam rolled out of bed and grabbed his clothes and his binder and walked to the bathroom. Trying to avoid looking in the mirror, he quickly showered. He hated showering because it forced him to face the body he was born with, the body that isn't really his body. It was like he was an alien host in a strange body that he can't relate to. And most of the times he can not be so depressed about it because he knows he will be able to fix it but sometimes it's annoying and sometimes it gets to him.

He quickly dried off with a towel and put on his binder as tight as possible and then put on the rest of his clothes. He went down to eat breakfast and head to school. He reflected on how Eli was acting strange lately, he wondered what was up with Eli. That new girl had asked Eli about some girl named Jessica; Eli had just shrugged it off, pretending to be nonchalant, but Adam noticed Eli's facial expression: annoyed, uncomfortable. Why would being called Jessica's brother upset Eli? Unless…

Nah, impossible. He definitely would have told Adam. Right?

Adam decided not to think about it. He entered Degrassi Community School.

"Hey, man, how are you?" Adam asked Eli as they were opening their lockers and shoving their backpacks into the lockers.

"I'm good. We should have a guy's night sometime," Eli said.

"Yeah," Adam said.

Eli started to put his backpack in his locker, but then it fell on the ground and the contents fell out.

A needle fell out.

"What are you doing with a needle? Are you on drugs?" Adam asked.

"No…uh, not exactly…." Eli said.

"Then what is the needle for?" Adam asked.

"I'll tell you later. Just…don't tell Claire what you saw," Eli said.

**To be continued…**

**Dun dun dun dun, what is the needle for? Omg is Eli on drugs? I'll write more once I have more reviews =) **


	4. say what?

**Chapter 4**

**Takes Place at the beginning of chapter 3, Eli's POV!**

Eli stared into the mirror, defiant. His eyes dark and ready to face a cold world, like he did every day. His black hair and his goth make up…you wouldn't believe it. He opts against the goth make up today, though, just because it's make up. Some days he has days like this. He's goth and he has a grudge against the world and he wants to be himself, but sometimes he just can't put make up on, because that's something girls do. Of course that isn't true, putting on make-up isn't "something that girls do", only what's in your head can determine what girls do and what boys do. And Eli is a boy that wears goth make up, so of course putting on make-up is something that boys do. But not today, ever since Alice mentioned Jessica Eli's been weary of his goth stuff. Not that he doesn't like his goth outfits. Goth clothes are pretty gender neutral, & usually he likes that.

His voice is low. It even has timbre. But he refuses to look down at his clothed body (because he's read a million times, it absolutely DOESN'T look what it looks like when you look down at it.). He just stares at his face. He likes how it's changed, even if only slightly. It's the subtle characteristics that make all the difference. Eli doesn't waste time on angst, but slight pause on angst that his low, timbre voice isn't natural. Of course it isn't natural! It's supernatural! Eli smirks. Always finding a way to be a stronger man than the day before.

He's going to be late for school! And he forgot to take his shot yesterday. "I hope that doesn't screw things up…" he thought. So quickly he took his shot while getting ready for school. He cleaned a spot on his thigh and put the medicine in the injector (A/N: sorry I don't know the right word for it) and injected it in his thigh. Quick and simple. He cleaned the spot off and grabbed his backpack and headed out for school. He didn't notice that the needle fell into his backpack…

**Later, at school…**

"Hey, man, how are you?" Adam asked Eli as they were opening their lockers and shoving their backpacks into the lockers.

"I'm good. We should have a guy's night sometime," Eli said.

"Yeah," Adam said.

Eli started to put his backpack in his locker, but then it fell on the ground and the contents fell out.

A needle fell out.

"What are you doing with a needle? Are you on drugs?" Adam asked.

"No…uh, not exactly…." Eli said.

"Then what is the needle for?" Adam asked.

"I'll tell you later. Just…don't tell Claire what you saw," Eli said. He guessed it was probably time to tell Adam, and it was just as well. He was always nervous when it came to this, but for once he was on the other side of coming out. It's not like he was Jessica and he has to tell people that he's Eli so people will just freaking STOP calling him she so he could stop accidently bursting out laughing at the utter hilarity of him being a chick.

"Ok," Adam said. "But there's no one else in the hall way, everyone's already in class, why don't you tell me now?"

Eli sighed. "Fine," Eli said. "I have a prescription."

"From who?" Adam said.

"My doctor," Eli said, trying to draw out the conversation.

"What is it for? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Adam said.

"No it's okay. It's only fair I tell you…." Eli said.

"Ok," Adam said.

"It's…" Eli said. "Testosterone."

"Huh?" Adam said, confused. Why would a bio dude like Eli need to take testosterone? Maybe he was short when he was a kid and his parents wanted him to be tall? "Why are you taking that?"

"Because," Eli said, "I'm the same as you. Female-to-male transgender."

**To be continued…**

_Woah I bet you didn't see that one coming! Well what do you think? =)_


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